Joke #4813

What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
Vote: has 44.74 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!" "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"
Vote: has 84.13 % from 227 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, husband, phone, women
One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, gay, health, sex
Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
Vote: has 54.13 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, music, old people
One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another. They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife, “Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?” The farmer’s wife replied “It needs to be a little bigger around.” So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around. About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife again “How does it feel now?” The farmer’s wife responded “I think it needs to be a little longer.” So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer. The next morning, after their alien neighbors had left, the farmer and his wife were having coffee at the breakfast table and the farmer asked his wife “How was the Martian man?” To this, the farmer’s wife replied “Fine.” “And how about the Martian woman?” The farmer replied, “That damn bitch yanked on my fucking ears all night long!”
Vote: has 76.53 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, dirty, friendship, sex, wife
A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy back wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She, in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit.
Vote: has 81.44 % from 332 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty
Q: How do you know a gay guy has farted? A: He needs to change his pants afterward.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, fart, gay, sex
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex? A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Vote: has 64.94 % from 243 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, mechanic, sex
Q: How can you tell if a lesbian is butch? A: She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 50.89 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, lesbian
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
Vote: has 76.59 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, student, teacher
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dirty, time, Yo mama