Joke #5835

Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper? So she can lip read.
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Husband always insisted on making love in the dark. After 20 years wife turns on the light, finds him holding a vibrator. She goes balistic, "You impotent bas*ard! How could you lie to me all these years?" Husband looks her straight in the eyes & calmly says, "I'll explain the toy, you explain the kids....."
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has 85.50 % from 1390 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Knock Knock. Who's There? Justin. Justin who? Your justin time to wipe my ass!
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has 44.68 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, knock-knock, sex
A young man walks into a bar and orders a Kamikaze. As soon as he is severed he slams it down. And before the bartender can walk away he calls out I need a shot of Tequila. So the bat tender pours the tequila. And no sooner than he is server he slam it back and then the young man asks for a shot of Gin. The bar tender compiles with the request, and out of curiosity asks the young man are you celebrating? The young man nods, and says quietly mt first blow job. The bartender smiles and says I remember my first. The young man looks up and says so how did you get rid of that taste?
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has 73.43 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How did Dairy Queen get pregnant? A: Burger King forgot to wrap his whopper.
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has 63.35 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were arguing over whose father could beat the other’ up. The brown-haired kid said, “My father is way better than yours.” The blond came back, “Maybe, but my mother is better than yours.” “That’s what my father says.”
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has 70.59 % from 108 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dad, dirty
Two guys are in a bar. "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'" "'Twenty Questions?' How do you play?" "You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of." "Okay. But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating." The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper. "Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?" "Uhh...I guess so." "Is it moosecock?"
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has 63.35 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty
A sexology professor announced that if any man over 50 eats 2 or 3 dates with a raw garlic clove he never fails in sex problems. This prescription makes his dick strong and heathy. There is only one side effect. That diet causes he blows many farts daily!
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has 60.02 % from 292 votes. More jokes about: dating, dirty, disgusting, fart, sex
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: "Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!" "I do not want," says the little one. "Eat it my boy to become strong and powerful." "I’m telling you, no!" insists the youngest. "My dear son eat your egg to make your bird grow." And the mom from the inside "George, you eat the egg… I’ll make burgers for the kid!"
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has 58.51 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bird, dirty, food, kids
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
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has 81.45 % from 1146 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, love, wife
A teacher was telling her students about human anatomy in a sex education class. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of a male and a female. "The female has two breasts and one vagina. The male has one penis." A little boy in the front row jumped up and said that the teacher was wrong. "My daddy has two penises. He has a short one that he pees with and a long one that he brushes Mommy's teeth with!"
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has 75.69 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, student, teacher