Joke #5835

Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper? So she can lip read.

After working together for a while, Frank and Jane's office romance blossomed and they really developed the hots for each other. One day,they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust. Frank finds Jane very tight and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Frank says to her, "If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time!" To which Jane replies, "If I'd known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"

Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.

What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.

What do tight pants and a cheap motel have in common? No ball room.

A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother. ‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son. The mother replies, ‘I don’t know. Surprise me.’

Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."

Girl, do you need to get your protein macros up? Because I'd gladly put my meat inside you.

Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A: When he eats his first Brownie.

Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked, spread-eagle on her bed. He thought, "Hmm... I could fly through that open window and be in and out before she even knew what hit her!" With nothing more than a rustle of the curtains, Superman was on his way, thinking, "Wow! She is really tight!" Back in her bedroom, Wonder Woman sat up asking, "What in Amazonia was that?!" The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts!"