A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating."
John:"Me either."
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The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school?
A: They get their masters.
TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son.
FATHER: What's that?
TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Little Johnny comes home from school, and his mom asks: "Johnny, how did it go with your exam? Was written or oral?"
And Johnny says: "Mom, I think it was anal... 'Cuz it went like shit!"
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What is the longest word in the English language?
Smiles: there is a mile between the first and last letters!
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long?
Hit the damned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break!
You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
Chuck Norris didn't go to school to learn, he went to teach.
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If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.
The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
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