Joke #2684

Peter: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train? Ted: What? Peter: A teacher says, “Spit out that gum!” and a train says, “Chew! Chew!”

Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?

The teacher brings a statue of Venus into class and asks, “What do you like best about it, class? Let’s start with you, Robert.” Robert: “The artwork.” Teacher: “Very good. And you, Peter?” Peter: “Her tits!” Teacher: “Peter, get out! Go stand in the hall! And you, Johnny?” Johnny: “I’m leaving, teacher, I’m leaving…”

Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?" Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.

I told my crush at school, "If you love me, come wearing red tomorrow." The next day she came in wearing black! When she dropped her pen and she bent over to pick it up, I got a look up her skirt at her red thong. Moral of the story: she really loves me underneath it all.

Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!" Girl: "Don't you know who I am?" Boy: "No?" Girl: "I'm the principals daughter". Boy: "Do you know who I am?" Girl: "No." Boy: "Good." *walks away quickly*

Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel so well. Father: Where does it hurt? Son: In school.

A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”

Teacher: Why are you late? Ramu: Because of the sign. Teacher: What sign? Ramu: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"