Q: What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?
A: The Food! 
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Teacher: “Suppose there were a dozen sheep and six of them jumped over a fence.
How many would be left?”
Boy: “None.”
Teacher: “None? You don’t know your arithmetic!”
Boy: “Teacher, you don’t know your sheep. When one goes, they all go!”
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
One boy throws his bag out the window.
Teacher: who just threw that?!
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school...
Teacher: "Whats your name?"
Boy: "Nadir"
Teacher: "No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today."
Boy went home and his mother asked: "How was the day Nadir?"
Boy: "I am an American now, so call me Johnny."
Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised...
Teacher: "What happened Johnny?"
Boy: "Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists."
Teacher: “You know you can’t sleep in my class.”
Boy: “I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could.”
Teacher: If you eat fish?
Student: It's good for my eyes.
Teacher: If you don't eat fish?
Student: It's good for the fish!
Ramu: Dad, can you write in the dark?
Father: I think so. What do you want me to write?
Ramu: Your name on this report card.
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class, was squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on.
He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal’s office; he was to phone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He did, and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room.
She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your Mom," she screamed.
"I did," he said, "and she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she’d come and pick me up from school."