I don’t want to go to school,” said a son to his father.
“Why not,” asked the father.
“I don’t feel well.”
“Where don’t you feel well,” the father asked.
“At school!”
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When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role;
And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
Teacher: You boy, what’s your name?
Boy: Mickey Jones.
Teacher: We’ll call you Jones here.
We don’t use first names.
Boy: My dad won’t like that – he takes offence if people take the Mickey out of my name.
One day a blonde came home from school and came to her mother and said, "Hey, Mommy! Mommy!
Today in school we learned to count.
The other kids could only count to three but I can count to Ten..... 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!"
The mother responds, "Very good honey."
The blonde asks, "Is that because I'm a blonde mommy?"
And the mother responds, "Yes dear."
Next day the blonde came home and went to her mother and said, "Today in school we learned our ABCs!
The other kids could only get to D but I can get to K! .... A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K!"
The mother says, "Very good honey."
The blonde then asked.
"Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?"
The mother responds, "Yes dear."
The third day the blonde come home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy today in school we went swimming!
But I was the only one who had breasts.
Is that because I'm a blonde, Mommy?"
And the mother responds, "No Honey, it's because you're twenty five."
"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?"
"Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father: No. Why do you ask that?
Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
One morning a boy walks in to class late
His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been"
He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car"
15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car"
2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"
Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?”
Boy: “Not a bit!”
Boy: "Our principal is so stupid!"
Girl: "Don't you know who I am?"
Boy: "No?"
Girl: "I'm the principals daughter".
Boy: "Do you know who I am?"
Girl: "No."
Boy: "Good."
*walks away quickly*
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Joke has 72.43 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: communication, management, school, stupid, vulgar
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed... driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What the hell is taking so long?
Hit the damned ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse.
I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Give me a break!
You don't stand a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."