I don’t want to go to school,” said a son to his father.
“Why not,” asked the father.
“I don’t feel well.”
“Where don’t you feel well,” the father asked.
“At school!”
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Q: What do you get when you mix English class with alcohol?
A: Tequila Mockingbird
Q: What's the first thing elves learn in school?
A: The "elf"-abet!
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Vote:
A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family.
One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
Teacher: What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Ramu: Yes it's really strange.
I've got another pair of the same at home.
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?"
Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a school looking for the library.
He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?”
The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!”
The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon.
Please allow me to rephrase my question.
Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, idiot?”