Joke #2867

I don’t want to go to school,” said a son to his father. “Why not,” asked the father. “I don’t feel well.” “Where don’t you feel well,” the father asked. “At school!”
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has 73.88 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: school

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Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket. The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out." The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants." While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?" To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
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has 76.58 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: math, school, science
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America. Shamu: Here it is! Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America? Ramu: Shamu!
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has 49.54 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: geography, school, teacher
Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
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has 78.02 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: school
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
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has 77.02 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: history, school
Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!
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has 76.26 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms. "Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water. The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed. He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass. It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died. "Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked. Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"
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has 84.03 % from 748 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, chemistry, death, little Johnny, school
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
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has 76.00 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: school
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family - but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
Phil: What makes a Cyclops such an effective teacher? Cheryl: I don’t know. Phil: He has only one pupil.
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has 57.73 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: school