Joke #4972

Q: What vegetables to librarians like? A: Quiet peas.
Vote:
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?” “No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
Vote:
has 80.94 % from 455 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school, teacher
Teacher: Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? Father: No. Why do you ask that? Teacher: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
Vote:
has 42.40 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dad, school, teacher
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: “Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.” “Yes, sir,” the boys said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
Vote:
has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
Vote:
has 82.44 % from 1313 votes. More jokes about: food, kids, school, Thanksgiving
Stacy: You know Tracy, sometimes I don't understand life. Tracy: What do you mean? Stacy: When we were a younger, we learnt to talk and to walk. At school, we always have to sit down and shut up...
Vote:
has 75.03 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: school
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
Vote:
has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, school
I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
Vote:
has 84.13 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: dad, kids, school, wife
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
Vote:
has 78.79 % from 367 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher
A private school was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.  Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.  Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.  To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.  There are teachers... and then there are educators.
Vote:
has 79.13 % from 182 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
When a teacher closes his eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom? Because there are no pupils to see!
Vote:
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: school