Joke #4972

Q: What vegetables to librarians like? A: Quiet peas.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: school

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A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
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has 71.37 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: college, money, school
A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands: "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!"
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has 83.61 % from 937 votes. More jokes about: kids, life, relationship, school, vulgar
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Billy, name two pronouns. Billy: Who, me? Teacher: Very good!
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has 76.49 % from 122 votes. More jokes about: school
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
Teacher: "I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense." Student: "In future tense, You will go to jail."
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has 83.23 % from 460 votes. More jokes about: school
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher. She asks the teacher for a glass of cider. "Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks. "To take away the pain," sobs the little girl. "What do you mean?" the teacher asks. "Well," sobs the little girl. "I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
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has 55.87 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: school
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
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has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!
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has 51.86 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: school
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?" Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
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has 62.69 % from 161 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, school