Joke #4982

Dear Maths, Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
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has 59.05 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: math

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The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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has 74.84 % from 269 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: math, women
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: Why accountants don't read novels? A: Because the only numbers in them are page numbers.
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: accountant, math, nerd
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!" She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?" The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try. The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157." The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car. Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said. "If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
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has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, math
Math tells us three of the saddnest love stories: 1)Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever. 2)Parallel lines who were never meant to meet. 3)Asymptotes who can get closer and closer but will never be together.
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has 69.19 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3.
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has 40.90 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: math
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
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has 43.46 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
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has 63.79 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: math