Q: Why do women have periods?
A: Because they deserve them.
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Why was the name "P.M.S." chosen ?
Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken...
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.
She looks the man up and down and says, "I've got news for you. You're going straight to hell!"
The man jumps up out of his seat and shouts, "Man, I'm on the wrong bus!"
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Q: Why did my wife cross the road?
A: To go back to the first shoe shop we went in three bloody hours ago.
A chubbier woman: "Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?"
Mirror: "Kindly move aside. I can't see anything."
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
A pregnant lady learns from her dentist that she needs a root canal.
She says to the dentist, "darn ... I'd just as soon give birth as have a root canal".
The dentist replies, "well, make up your mind so I know what position to put the chair in".
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Q: How are women and a hurricane alike?
A: When they arrive they're both wet and wild, when they leave, they take your house and your car.
Q: Why are hangovers better than women?
A: Hangovers will go away.