Joke #2695

Q: Why do women have smaller feet than men? A: So they can stand closer to the sink.
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has 33.28 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: women

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A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn comes in to take a piss. Well, the man cant help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised, "bubba, whats your secret?" Bubba says"well, every night before i go to get in bed with a woman i whack my dick on the bedpost three times." So the man decides to try it that very night. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says"bubba, is that you?"
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has 84.69 % from 969 votes. More jokes about: dirty, wife, women
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a women? A: The pizza can be eaten but the women can't!
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has 36.90 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food, women
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds: "Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks." The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?" The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her." The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?" The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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has 76.77 % from 158 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, morbid, sex, women
A woman walks into her sex thearapist’s office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and the rarely have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it? The therapist tells her that she has a new drug called Viagra that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give him one pill that night, and come back in the morning to tell her what happens. The next day the woman walks in ecstatic telling the therapist the viagra worked, and she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills? The therapist replies she dosn’t know but says to go ahead and try it. The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist tha the sex was even better than the night before. She asks the therapist what whould happen if she gave him five pills? The therapist once again tells her to give it a try. The following day the woman comes back in LIMP BUT HAPPY, tells the therapist the sex just keeps getting better and better. She asks what would happen if she gave him the rest of the bottle? The therapists tells her its a new drug and she doesn’t know what a full bottle would do to a person. The woman leaves the office and puts the rest of the pills in her husbands morning coffee. A week later a boy walks into the therapists office and asks: "Are you the “idiot” who gave my MOTHER a bottle of Viagra?" "Why yes young man I did?" "Why?" "Well mom’s dead, my sister’s Pregnant, my A– Hurts, and Dad just sits in the corner going, 'here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty…'”
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has 74.80 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband, sex, women
Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you? Answer: Shorten the chain.
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has 59.51 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: black humor, sport, wife, women
A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present. When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video. He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video. On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k. He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough. Then she turns to the camera. "Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
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has 60.08 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, divorce, food, husband, women
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a women are their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they're a bunch of liars.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: beauty, men, women
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: athlete, sex, women
How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: women
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't told her twice!
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has 34.70 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: women