Joke #5018

Teacher: If you eat fish? Student: It's good for my eyes. Teacher: If you don't eat fish? Student: It's good for the fish!
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has 78.54 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: school

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Here is an explanation of the school homework policy for the average student. Students should not spend more than ninety minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner if the student desires to achieve moderate to good grades in his/her classes. 15 minutes looking for assignment. 11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment. 23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children. 8 minutes in the bathroom. 10 minutes getting a snack. 7 minutes checking the TV Guide. 6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment. 10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher, technology, time
Teacher: Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object? Student: You are pretty. Teacher: What’s the direct object? Student: A good report card.
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has 82.19 % from 408 votes. More jokes about: school
The absent-minded teacher paused to chat awhile with one of her students, then asked, "Which way was I going when I stopped to talk to you?" "That way", the student pointed. ''Good,'' said the teacher, ''then I've had my lunch."
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has 42.00 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point." The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
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has 75.85 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: school
A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
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has 73.92 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: god, little Johnny, school, student, teacher
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
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has 73.36 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: history, school
Mom: What did you do at school today? Mark: We did a guessing game. Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam. Mark: That’s right!
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has 83.02 % from 331 votes. More jokes about: school
The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."
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has 68.38 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: school
Q. To a blonde, what is long and hard? A. Grade 4.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, school
Why did the teacher write the lesson on the windows? He wanted to be very clear!
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has 30.77 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: school