Teacher: If you eat fish?
Student: It's good for my eyes.
Teacher: If you don't eat fish?
Student: It's good for the fish!
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In the beautiful world of fantasy, holding hands is the first sign of true love.
In college it means someone is too drunk to stand on their own.
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.
"I would do anything to pass this exam."
She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.
"I mean..." she whispers, "
I would do...anything."
He returns her gaze.
"Anything?"
Anything."
His voice softens.
"Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper.
"Would you...study?"
One day a college professor after getting irritated in his college class stands up in front of the class and asks if anyone in the class is an idiot, and if there is one then he/she should stand up.
After a minute a young man stands up.
The professor then asks that guy if he actually thinks he is an idiot.
The boy replied, "No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating."
John:"Me either."
School is like a boner, long and hard.
Unless you're Asian...
Little Johnny came home after school:
"Daddy, I have a bad grade in English language."
"Why?" asked his father.
"Well, the teacher asked us the following question: "Mary entered the forest with John and came out of the forest with Mike. What is Mary?"
"How come what Mary is? A whore, of course," said the father.
"That's what I said, but the teacher answered Mary was a subject."
Vote:
I'll be honest.
I did not graduate at the top of my class.
In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
Vote:
Why was the cannibal expelled from school?
Because he kept buttering up the teacher.