This guy comes back from the toilet, when a women says to him, "Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open"!"
As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,"Did you see my big black hummer?"
The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires."
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Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?
A: They all get the house.
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents.
Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha.
Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that."
Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
Why do women always fart only when they go to the bathroom?
They have to blow dry—and there's nothing to shake.
Vote:
A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future:
Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future.
Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized."
Why is a woman different from a PC?
A woman won't accept a 3½" floppy.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Vote:
I like my women how I like my laptop.
Sat on my lap, turned on & completely virus free.