Joke #5032

This guy comes back from the toilet, when a women says to him, "Hey, you have left your GARAGE door open"!" As the man is zipping his fly up, he says with a big smile,"Did you see my big black hummer?" The woman replies, "Nope just a MINI COOPER with two flat tires."
Vote: has 64.23 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why Airplanes are better than Women ? Airplanes usually kill you quickly ...a woman takes her time. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch.... Airplanes don't get mad if you do a "touch and go".... Airplanes don't object to a preflight inspection.... Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.... Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits.... Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.... Airplanes don't come with in-laws.... Airplanes don't care about how many other airplanes you've flown before.... Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.... Airplanes don't mind if you look at other airplanes.... Airplanes don't mind if you buy airplane magazines.... Airplanes expect to be tied down.... Airplanes don't comment on your piloting skills.... Airplanes don't whine unless something is really wrong.... However...when airplanes go quiet...just like women...it's usually not good. If you miscalculate and make a mistake with an airplane, you don't have a bunch of "little airplanes" flying around out of control! When your airplane is sitting there looking at you face to face whining @ 15,000 r's, you want to hear more! With an airplane, your frequency is continuous, and not just once or twice a year! The shape of an airplanes empanage stays constant over the years! Airplanes don't stop for yard and garage sales or tupperware parties! If an airplane gets in the way, you just put it out in the garage, and that is that! It is interesting watching an airplane stall! If a woman ground loops, it is usually more than just a broken prop!
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing, you already told her twice.
Vote: has 39.47 % from 92 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, women
If God is a woman then we're all going to go to Hell, but we'll never know why.
Vote: has 76.80 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, women
What’s the difference between goats and women?? Goats are always horney.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
A woman went to a doctor and said , doctor, I have a problem. every time I sneeze I have an orgasm. the doctor said, oh really, what have you been doing for it. The woman replied, snorting pepper.
Vote: has 35.66 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
Vote: has 46.60 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss. The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "Has your plane arrived yet?"
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, women
What do women and condoms have in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.
Vote: has 67.13 % from 120 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk, they connect, and they end up leaving together. They get back to her place, and as she shows him around, he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears are on a shelf all the way along the floor, medium sized ones are on a shelf a little higher, and huge bears are on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised by the collection, especially because it’s so extensive, but he decides not to mention this to her. She turns to him…they kiss…then they rip each other’s clothes off and romp around the room all night. After an intense night of passion, as they are lying there together in the afterglow, the man rolls over and asks, smiling, “Well, how’d I do?” The woman says, “You can have any prize from the bottom shelf.”
Vote: has 36.09 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
Vote: has 61.92 % from 64 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex, women