Joke #5102

I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
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has 85.33 % from 837 votes. More jokes about: dirty, horse, sport

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A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. COST $5" So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. So the guy takes the money and leaves. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. COST $10" So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him!"
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has 82.44 % from 152 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, horse, money
Three babies in the womb discuss what they would like to be when they grow up. The first one says, "I wanna be a plumber, so I can fix the pipes in here." The second one says, "I wanna be an electrician, so I can get some lights in here." The third one says, "I wanna be a boxer." The others look confused and ask, "Why do you want to be a boxer?" He proudly replies, "So I can beat the hell out of that rude bald guy who keeps coming in here and spitting on us."
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has 81.66 % from 330 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, sport
Q: Who is the most skillful goal keeper in the world? A: All women; they never allow any ball enters.
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has 80.35 % from 330 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sport, women
Q: Why do rednecks like having sex doggie style? A: That way they can both watch wrestling.
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has 76.72 % from 459 votes. More jokes about: dirty, redneck, sex, sport
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey. "Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?" "Sure I could have, but you know we are supposed to stay on the horse."
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: horse, sport
Q: What do gay guys have in common with bungee jumpers? A: If the rubber breaks, they're in deep shit!
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has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty, gay, sex, sport
Q: If a horses foot covers 2 acres of land, what will his tail cover? A: His ass!
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has 69.85 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, vulgar
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
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has 69.39 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: horse, money, romantic, sport
After a long day of winter sporting, we headed back to the ski lodge. As it was small, a cramped place to stay, we decided it was most fitting to sleep in the same bed. Myself in the middle and my two friends either side of me. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right woke up and said, "I have had a dream where I was given the best handjob ever!" A few minutes later, the guy on my left woke up and said: "I have had a dream that I was given the best handjob ever!" I replied, "well that's funny... I thought I was skiing."
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has 67.69 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty, friendship, sex, sport, winter
What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from Grandma have in common? You don't look down.
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has 67.51 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, old people, sport