Husband takes the wife to a disco.
There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works.
The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says: "Looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!!"
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If it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
"My wife and I always compromise, I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me."
Q: Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married?
A: Because they part for every little shit.
Vote:
The newlywed wife said to her husband when he returned from work,
“I have great news for you.
Pretty soon, we’re going to be three in this house instead of two.”
Her husband ran to her with a smile on his face and delight in his eyes.
He was glowing of happiness and kissing his wife when she said, “I’m glad that you feel this way since tomorrow morning, my mother moves in with us.”
Vote:
A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the friend.
The woman replied, "A multi-millionaire".
When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: ''I love the simple things in life, but I don't want one of them for my husband''.
Two friends talking:
"What's up?"
"My wife left me for my best friend.."
"I thought I was your best friend..."
"Now he is."
Q: How do you get your wife to scream and groan when you're having sex?
A: Let her catch you doing it.
Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.
The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.