I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
We went to see a movie the other night. I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier. Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out. “Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.” By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?” “No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”
Q: Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said "From 2-4 years."
How do you describe a blonde surrounded by drooling idiots? Flattered.
The Boyfriend says to his blonde girlfriend, "Look! A dead bird!" and the blonde looks up in the sky and says "Where?"
How do you know when a blonde has a brain fart? Her ears flap.
Doctor: "Yes, what is it I can do for you?" Blond: "Doctor, yesterday, when I was doing my yoga, one of my friends told me that if I did this particular exercise, all my body’s blood would go into my head. But, when I stand, why doesn’t anyone say that all the blood would go into the legs?" Doctor: "The fact’s your legs are not that hollow as your head is."
Two blondes are sitting on a bench at the park. One says to the other,"Hey, which is farther, California or the moon?" The other blonde says,"Well, duh! Can you see California?"
How do you keep a blonde busy all day? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? A: You can park in the handicap zone.
A blonde's house was on fire. She called 911 and started screaming, "Help me, please! My house is burning! Hurry!" The operator said, "Okay, calm down and we'll be there soon. How do we get to your house?" The blonde answered, "Duh, in that big red truck!"