Joke #5343

I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask, "Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?" And the blonde says, "Because im trying to commit suicide." I ask, "why don't you just tie it around your neck?" She says, "I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

How many blondes does it take to milk a cow? Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Vote:
has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Did you hear about the blonde skydiver? A: She missed the Earth.
Vote:
has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A truck was traveling through town. When the driver stopped at a red light, A blonde jumped out of her car, ran up to the driver of the truck, and said, "Mr. you're losing part of your load". She jumps back into her car and follows the truck to the next light. She jumps out of car and runs up to the driver's window, "Mr. you're losing part of your load." The same thing happens for 7 stops, finally the 8th stop, the blonde came running up to the truck driver's window, before she could say anything, the driver said, "MA'AM, THIS IS WINTER IN MAINE, I'M DRIVING A SALT TRUCK......."
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, stupid, winter
Two blondes drive through the middle of Kansas, surrounded entirely by wheat fields. One blonde says, "Look over there!" They see another blonde in scuba gear acting like she's swimming through the wheat. The blonde driving says, "It's girls like that who give us blondes a bad name." The other blonde says, "Yeah! And if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and tell her off."
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Vote:
has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it. The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river." Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours. Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof! God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours. The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river." And Poof! God turned her into a man. He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
Vote:
has 40.67 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: blonde, god, travel
A blonde has sharp pains in her side. The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis." The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
Vote:
has 33.37 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, medical, stupid
A road crew supervisor hired a nice-looking blonde woman to assist with painting the yellow line down the middle of the road. He was skeptical about hiring her, but she appeared enthusiastic and told him that she really needed the job. He explained to her that her work day would be to complete 2 miles of line on her road, and he set her up with her brushes and paint and got her started. After the first day, he was pleased to find that she did an excellent job and was able to paint 4 miles of road in her 8 hour shift. He told her that she did an excellent job and how pleased he was with her progress. On the second day, she completed painting 2 miles of road. Her supervisor was surprised that on day one she had completed twice as much work, but did not say anything, as 2 miles of road was the amount that the job required anyway. He decided to just accept it, and to look forward to the next day when he was sure she would pick up her speed again. On day 3 he was shocked to learn that in her 8 hour shift, she only completed painting 1 mile of road. He called her into his office and asked her what was the problem, “On your first day, you completed 4 miles of road, on your second day, 2 miles of road, and now on day 3, you were only able to complete 1 mile of road. Can I ask you, what is the problem?” “Well, she replied, I keep getting farther and farther from the paint can.”
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time, women, work
A brunette, a red-haired and a blonde comes to an edge of a hill. The rule is: if you lie, you fall off the hill. A brunette says: - I think I'm the most beautiful... And she falls off the hill. A red-haired says: - I think I'm the most clever... And she falls off the hill. A blonde says: I think... And she falls off the hill.
Vote:
has 28.45 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, ginger
This guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, 'Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...'
Vote:
has 29.93 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, driving