Joke #5425

There was a boy playing in the farm field when his mom called him in for breakfast. On his way in he kicked a cow, pig, and a chicken. So when he gets to the table he sees a dry bowl of cereal. "What's the deal?" he asks. His mom says "You kicked the cow so no milk for you, you kicked the pig so no bacon for you, and you kicked the chicken so no eggs for you." Then his father walks into the kitchen and accidentally kicked the cat. The the boy says "Do you want me to tell him or should you?"

Knock Knock! Who's there? Justin Justin who? Justin time for dinner!

My kids get along great when they're sleeping.

I was walking by a car filled with black kids, and I heard a *click* as they locked the doors. I felt like such a bad-ass until I realized it was my car.

What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."

Wilfred had just learned his abc's and was very scared of doing them in front of the class. The teacher, though, told him that the best way to conquer his fears would be to just go ahead and do it. So, trembling, he stood in front of the class and began. "ABCDEFGHIJLKMNOQRSTUVWXYZ." "Very good, Wilfred. But you forgot the P. Where's the P? "It's running down my leg."

Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!

"Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?" "Because I helped her."  "But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?" "I helped her eat her gummy bears."

What kind of rocks do young geologists play with? Marbles.

Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."

Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets. In her stomach the babies were talking to each other. The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here". The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here". And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".