A nun, a priest, an Irishman, a Scotsman, a rabbi and a blonde walk into a bar.
The bartender looks at them and asks, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Two blondes were repairing a roof, with one working on one side and one on the other.
After a while, one blonde noticed that her friend would carefully examine each nail before hammering it down, but half of the time she would toss the nail behind her after examining it.
Figuring that there couldn't be that many bad nails, she yelled out to her friend: "Why are you tossing out all those nails?"
"Well, those were all pointing the wrong way!" was the response.
Infuriated, the first blonde bellowed "You, idiot! Those are for my side of the roof!!"
Vote:
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway.
He started chasing after the speeder .
When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.
The cop yelled, "Pull over!"
The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"
Q: What did the blonde say when she tried driving stick for the first time?
A: "How do you shift this thing?" (you make jacking off motions).
One day in class, the teacher told everyone to turn to a blank sheet of paper in their notebooks.
She noticed that Chip, the dumb jock, was having trouble with her directions.
"Have you found a blank piece yet, Chip?" said the teacher.
"Nope. I haven't," said the dumb jock.
"Somebody went through and drew lines across all of the pages."
Blonde: Officer theres like a thousand dead people here!
Cop: Okay, calm down.
Where are you?
Blonde: The cemetery!
Cop: *facepalm*
I see a blonde walking down the street with a rope tied around her waist and I ask,
"Why do you have a rope tied around your waist?"
And the blonde says,
"Because im trying to commit suicide."
I ask,
"why don't you just tie it around your neck?"
She says,
"I already tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
They forget the recipe.
A blonde walks into a doctor’s office and says, “Doc, I’m horribly sick!”
The doctor looks at her and asks, “Flu?”
“No, I drove here.”
A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open.
A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, "Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right boob is hanging out."
As he gets closer it becomes apparent that it "IS" hanging out.
When he gets face to face with her he says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?"
She says, "Why, officer?"
"Well, your boob is hanging out."
She looks down and says "OMIGOD, I left the baby on the bus!"
