Joke #5485

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.
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When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
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The English teacher’s husband walked in and caught his wife sleeping with a young co-ed. He said, “Why, Susan, I’m surprised.” She bolted upright, pointed her finger and corrected him, “No. I am surprised. You are astonished.”
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Joe: What’s the king of all school supplies? Moe: I don’t know. What? Joe: The ruler.
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Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?
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Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? Fred: None! Fred (surprised): Why not? Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
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What is a teacher's favorite kind of music? Class-ical.
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Teacher: Tell me a sentence that starts with an "I". Student: I is the.... Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
Vote: has 78.20 % from 251 votes. Send joke:

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Teacher: "Ramu, you talk a lot !" Ramu: "It's a family tradition". Teacher: "What do you mean?" Ramu: "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher". Teacher: "What about your mother?" Ramu: "She's a woman".
Vote: has 73.01 % from 114 votes. Send joke:

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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
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Girl: “Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.” Mother: “But that’s terrible! I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?” Girl: “My homework.”
Vote: has 65.14 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

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