Joke #5485

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor? Student: You told me not to use tables.

They wanted something long and hard..... I gave them MY HOMEWORK!

"Isn't the principal a dummy!" said a boy to a girl. "Say, do you know who I am?" asked the girl. "No." "I'm the principal's daughter." "And do you know who I am?" asked the boy. "No," she replied. "Thank goodness!"

At school, a soldier spoke to Johnny's class. Johnny felt enthusiastic about joining the military, so he went home and told his dad. To his surprise, this was the biggest step forward in his life, so his dad decided to explain the military to him. "Son, I'll teach you what you need to know about the military. The Army and Navy are the only two REAL branches of our military. The Marine Corps is a cult. The Coast Guard is playing a game called 'Pretend Navy Since 1915'." So Johnny asks his dad, "what about the Air Force?" Johnny's dad explained to him, "well son, the Air Force is like a giant corporation. Just a bunch of people sitting at desks playing Flight Simulator and bullshitting with each other." By that time, Johnny was amazed and decided he wanted to join the military, but wanted to know what his daddy did. "What did you do in the military, dad?" "Well son, I spoke Chinese and shot at the Americans in Vietnam."

Chuck Norris's 1st Grade teacher asked him how many stars there were on the American Flag. Chuck Norris replied "Yes." and was correct.

Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school. His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?" Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.

Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?

Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour? Pupil: Because it can't sit down!

You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.

Teacher: "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?" Ramu: "The moon". Teacher: "Why?" Ramu: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun gives us light only in the day time when we don't need it".

TEACHER: Well, at least there's one thing I can say about your son. FATHER: What's that? TEACHER: With grades like these, he couldn't be cheating.