Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
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A little girl came home from school and said to her mother,
“Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn’t do.
“The mother exclaimed, “But that’s terrible!
I’m going to have a talk with your teacher about this … by the way, what was it that you didn’t do?”
The little girl replied, “My homework.”
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday."
Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
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David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?
Dan: I don’t know. Why?
David: Because it was always sweeping during class!
A student visits the principal's office
The principal asks: "What is your name?"
The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david."
The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?"
Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
Sunday school teacher asks Johnny, "Come now, Little Johnny, tell me the truth, do you say your prayers before eating?"
Little Johnny smiles proudly, "No Miss, there's no need, my mom cooks really well."
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During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.
Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together.
I was cycling to school.
I saw a dead body."
Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon?
Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
