An old married couple were having s*x and the wife says, "Baby, suck my nipples!"
The man dies; autopsy said, "Reason for death: Expired Milk"
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One day a Jew was giving an Asian a blowjob, then, the Asian said do you have homework.
The Jew said no and they continued the blowjob.
Adam was waiting outside for a long time before he decided to walk in.
He walked in to find the Jew getting it up the bum.
Adam decided he wanted to get some action too, so he walked up and took a swing at the Asian.
The Asian died and then the Jew yelled Aluakbah and bombed everyone.
Note: they were all boys.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Q: Do you know what happends with a nigger if he sticks up 12 varningssigns in his ass?
A: He becomes a toblerone!
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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads:
CHEESEBURGER: $1.50
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50
HAND JOB: $10.00
He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks.
"Can I help you?" she asks.
"I was wondering," whispers the man. "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
"Yes," she purrs. "I am."
The man replies, "Well, wash your hands. I want a cheeseburger."
I know an archaeologist who can tell you what period a tampon was from.
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Q: What did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?
A: Gee, we really do taste like chicken!
Friend pisses me off so I poked holes in his condom the night before he uses it.
Three months later... my mom's pregnant.
Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
A: To get to the bottom...
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind."
Son say, "I'm over here?"