Joke #5516

A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies. E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly. The question was, "What do you like most in a woman." The man replied, "My d*ck."
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has 77.03 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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There's a bunch of doctors gathered together at a doctor's convention one night. A male doctor notices a female doctor from across the room. The female doctor notices also and the next thing you know, they're sitting next to each other by the end of dinner. After dinner, the male asks the woman if she wants to go up to his hotel room. ''Sure,'' the woman says. ''Let me go wash my hands first.'' After she washes her hands, they have sex. After they are finished, she washes her hands again. This is really starting to annoy the male doctor so he says, ''You know, you must be a surgeon, because you keep washing your hands.'' Angry at this remark, the woman says, ''Well, you must be an anasthesiologist, because I didn't feel a thing!''
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has 71.97 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume? A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, ugly, vulgar, women
Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? A: "What are you shaking about, it's me she's going to eat."
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has 82.15 % from 327 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, masturbation
A boss has to fire one of 2 workers, Jack and Jill. However, Both Jack and Jill are skilled workers and he is finding it really, really difficult to pick. So after their shifts, Jack goes home before Jill does, and the boss goes over to Jill just before she gets into her car. He informs her of his dilemma. "Hey Jill, I have a problem." "Ok Boss, what is it?" she asks "I Can't decide whether to lay you or Jack off, what would you suggest?" "Well, you'd better get the vasoline, i'm going home!"
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has 70.83 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, management, masturbation, work
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
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has 23.02 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
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Q: How can you spot the blind guy in a nudist colony? A: It's not hard.
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Did you hear Cher is joining the spice girls? They're going to call her Old Spice.
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, music, old people
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
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has 79.85 % from 149 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, blonde, dirty, geography
Once upon a time, there was a king who thought that his officers were going to try to have sex with his queen. So he made all of his officers put on tight pants and told them that if anyone got a boner their head would be chopped off. So he lined them up and the queen came to the first one and took off her gown. He got a boner, so that was the end of him. Then she came to the next one and took off her gown, he got a boner and that was the end of him. This went on until she came to the last one and took off gown, then her underthings and he didn't get a boner. So she took off his clothes and started rolling on the floor with him, half an hour went by, then an hour, finally after two hours the king came in to see what was happening and as soon as the king came in the guy got a boner.
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has 73.67 % from 240 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex