Man gives blood too save his wifes life.
Few months later they are divorced.
Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!"
Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD." 
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How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
A bloke asks his mate "do you ever talk to your wife during sex ?"
His mate replies "yeah, if she calls."
What does a Rubik's cube and a pen*s have in common?
They both get harder the longer you play with them.
What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind.
Son: Dad im over here.
Vote:
A girl goes into the doctor's office for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, the doctor notices a red 'H' on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue 'Y' on her chest.
"How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor.
"Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he's so proud of it that he never takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love," she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green 'M' on her chest.
"Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?" asks the doctor.
"No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?"
Come on guys, I think we are a little tough on pedophiles, they have a hard time fitting in.
Vote:
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
A: Well hung.
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
A kid walks into a class with a shirt, pants, underwear, and socks the teacher asks, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then another boy walks in with no shirt and no socks and the teacher says, "Where have you been?"
The boy says, "On top of blueberry hill."
Then a girl walks in and the teacher asks, "Where have you been?
Oh, let me guess on top of blueberry hill." and the girl says, "No, I am blueberry hill."