Joke #5563

Q:What not to say to the nice policeman? A:I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
Vote:
has 54.04 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
Vote:
has 65.80 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: military, war
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Vote:
has 33.50 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, military
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper? Seasoned troops!
Vote:
has 32.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: military
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, “I guess when I die you’ll come and dance on my grave.” The cadet replied, “Not me, Sarge…no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I’d never stand in another line!”
Vote:
has 85.48 % from 434 votes. More jokes about: death, military
"Where does the Colonel keep his armies?" "Up his sleevies!"
Vote:
has 16.69 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
Vote:
has 44.47 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: military, sex
The pentagon said they had too many generals running around, so they decided to get rid of some of them. They offered $10,000 in severance pay for each inch of their body to be measured however they chose. The Air Force general went first. He said he wanted to be measured from his head to his toe. He was 69 inches. He received $690,000. Next up was the Army general. He wanted to be measured from the tip of his finger to the tip of his other finger. It was 80 inches. He received $800,000. The two generals were very happy with their earnings. Finally the Marine general came up. He said he wanted to be measured from the tip of his d**k to the tip of his balls. The man said, "Sir, do you know how much the other generals received?" The general said no. "Sir, they received $690,000 and $800,000 respectively, are you sure that is what you want measured?" The general said, "Just do it!" The man dropped the general's pants and measured his d**k. When he went for the general's balls, they weren't there. The man said, "Sir, where are your balls." The general said, "I left them back in Vietnam."
Vote:
has 83.63 % from 364 votes. More jokes about: air force, military, money, political
Why doesn't Osama bin Laden have sex with his five wives? Because every time he spreads their legs he sees Bush.
Vote:
has 61.43 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, military, sex, wife
Q: Did you hear that Saddam Hussein won the toss ? A: He elected to receive.
Vote:
has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: military
Two good ol’ boys, Bubba and Junior get promoted from Privates to Sergeants. Not long after, they’re out for a walk and Bubba says, “Hey, Junior - there’s the NCO Club. Let’s you and me stop in and have us a drank.” “But we’s privates,” protests Junior. “NO, we’s sergeants now,” says Bubba, pulling him inside “Now, Junior, I’m gonna sit down and have me a drank.” “But, we’s privates,” says Junior. “You blind, boy!” says Bubba, pointing at his stripes. “We’s Sergeants now!” So they order their drinks and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Bubba. “You’re cute,” she says, “and I’d like to take you someplace and make you feel good — but I’ve got a bad case of gonorrhea.” Bubba pulls his friend to the side and whispers, “Junior, go look in the dictionary and see what that gonorrhea means. If it’s good, give me the okay sign.” Junior goes to look it up, comes back, and gives Bubba the big okay sign. Three weeks later Bubba is laid up in the infirmary with a terrible case of gonorrhea. “Junior,” he says, “What you give me the okay for?!” “Well Bubba, in the dictionary, it says gonorrhea only affects the privates.” Then he pointed to his stripes and says, “But we’s Sergeants now!
Vote:
has 85.33 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: military