Joke #5573

A very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant one night. Waiting for her date as she was, she wanted to make sure everything was perfect. So, as she bends down in her chair to get the mirror from her purse, she accidentally farts quite loudly just as the waiter walks up. Sitting up straight now, embarrassed and red faced, knowing everyone in the place heard her, turns to the waiter and demands "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says "Sure lady, which way was it headed?"

Why are women like parking spaces? Because all the best ones are taken... and the rest are handicapped.

The woman opposite the road from me called me a pervert earlier, I don't know why! Knowing she likes bird watching I asked her if she'd like to come over and have a look at my twelve finches.

What do women and police cars have in common? They both make a lot of noise to let you know they are coming.

A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"

What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.

How is a police car like a women? It flashes and It usually has a d*ck in it.

What is a buttress? A female goat.

Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.

Women dream of world peace, a safe environment, and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in an elevator with the Doublemint twins.

Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.