Joke #2632

How can you tell if your wife is dead? The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.
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has 39.32 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: women

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Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
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has 50.64 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I’m thinking, okay, here’s a gal who’s capable of making a decision she’ll regret in the future.
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: women
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says, "Would you like to dance?" The girl says, "I don’t like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn’t dance with you." The guy says, "I’m sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
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has 74.45 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: bar, fat, music, women
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
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has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 71.15 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Everyone says the world would be better off if it was run by women. Sure, maybe there wouldn't be violence and territorial conquests fueled by male testosterone. But instead, we'd have a bunch of jealous countries that aren't talking to each other.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: women
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, memory, women
I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: women
A woman who was beaten black and blue, went to the doctor. Doctor: "What happened?" Woman: "Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk, he beats me to a pulp." Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. Whenever your husband comes home inebriated, just take a glass of chamomile tea and start gargling with it. Just gargle and gargle." Two weeks later she returns to the doctor,and looks reborn and fresh again. Woman: "Doc, That was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home drunk, I gargled with chamomile tea and gargled and nothing happened." Doctor: "You see how keeping your mouth shut helps!"
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has 62.06 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: doctor, drunk, husband, marriage, women
Question: What do you call a woman who has lost 95 percent of her intelligence? Answer: Divorced.
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has 29.51 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: divorce, women