Joke #5597

Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.
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has 57.69 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Look at yourself...
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After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry. "Is this your husband?" he nervously asks. "No, silly," she replies, snuggling up to him. "Your boyfriend, then?" he continues. "No, not at all," she says, nibbling away at his ear. "Is it your dad or your brother?" he inquires, hoping to be reassured. "No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!" she answers. "Well, who in the hell is he, then?" he demands. She whispers in his ear: "That’s me before the surgery."
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has 78.61 % from 750 votes. More jokes about: dad, husband, love, sex
Lost my watch at a party once. Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch.
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has 70.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: men, party, sex
Question: What’s the best thing about a blow job? Answer: Ten minutes of silence.
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has 75.34 % from 194 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
Q: What have condoms and tires in common? A: Good year.
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What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
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A girl married with a man who had only one foot. Next day her mother rang her and asked: "My little tell me how did U feel the marriage?" Her daughter replied: "Woo real splendid; alas he has only one foot!" Her mom answered: "You must be too lucky, when I married your dad; he had only one inch!"
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has 74.30 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, family, sex, wedding
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, flirt, sex, time
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
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has 68.03 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, sex