Joke #5597

Why are guys like microwavable meals? They’re both done in 30 seconds.
Vote:
has 57.69 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

There was three guys a sex addict a weed addict and a alcoholic they all went to hell for their sin and was standing in front of the devil. The devil made a deal with them saying I will lock you in a room with what ever you did for a 1000 years and if you get over any of your sins I will send you back to the land of the living, Earth. So the sex addict got locked in a room full of virgins, the alcohol addict got locked in a room full of beer, the weed addict locked in a room full of weed. 1000 years later the Devil goes to the sex addict he comes out saying "Aww my dick hurts I'm never having sex again", poof back to earth. Open the alcoholic room and he say "Im never having beer", and gets sent back to Earth. Then the Devil opens the weed addicts room and the Weed addict punches the Devil in the face and says "you forgot my lighter bitch!"
Vote:
has 80.16 % from 382 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, sex, time, vulgar, weed
Hi, my name is "Milk." I'll do your body good.
Vote:
has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, health, sex
Apparently, he’s trying to become a father again, even though he’s now 87. And you have to admit that is an exceptionally low sperm count.
Vote:
has 34.61 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: sex
Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
Vote:
has 85.36 % from 2593 votes. More jokes about: car, doctor, kids, sex
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
Vote:
has 59.75 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
She’s got her very own method of birth control. She takes her make-up off.
Vote:
has 51.70 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: sex
‘I recently sold the rights of my love life to Parker brothers, they’re going to turn it into a game.’ Woody Allen
Vote:
has 26.42 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
Vote:
has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Vote:
has 51.53 % from 280 votes. More jokes about: men, sex
Q: How is spinach like anal sex? A: Chances are if you're forced to have it as a child you are probably going to hate it as an adult.
Vote:
has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, food, kids, sex