Sex is like a motor racing - the most important thing is not to save money for bes quality rubber.
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"Name?"
"Abdul Aziz."
"Sex?"
"Three to five times a day."
"No, no... I mean male or female?"
"Yes, male, female, sometimes camel."
"Holy cow!"
"Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general."
"But isn't that hostile?"
"Horse style, doggy style, any style!"
"Oh dear!"
"No, no! Deer run too fast..."
What happened when the chef got his hand caught in the dishwasher?
They both got fired.
A man and his wife go to the doctor to see how they could improve their sex life.
The doctor recommends Viagra.
They come back and see him in a couple of weeks.
The doctor says "how was the Viagra?"
The wife says "great I love it."
Husband says "I like it but it has some side effects, we're bared from McDonald's for life."
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
Man to woman: ‘Tell me, after having sex do you ever smoke?’
Woman: ‘I’ve never looked.’
6 year old kid looking at Mom's ID card.
Sex: F
He laughs.
Mom: "Whats so funny?"
Kid: "I can't believe you're so bad in sex that you failed in it."
Husband died laughing.
Man to vicar: ‘Do you approve of sex before marriage?’
Vicar: ‘Not if it delays the service.’
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.