Joke #561

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass. The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!" So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?" "Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"
Vote: has 37.92 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What do you call 35,000 men with their hands up? "Iraqi Army."
Vote: has 46.02 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military, sex
Chuck Norris can find Osama Bin Laden!
Vote: has 39.78 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, military, war
An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands …! ”
Vote: has 57.17 % from 40 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ? A. Nothing, yet.
Vote: has 70.33 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, military
Bill O'Reilly and his chauffeur accidentally hit and kill a farmer's pig while driving through the country. O'Reilly tells the chauffeur to apologize to the farmer. They drive up to the farm, and the chauffeur goes inside. He is gone for a long time. When the driver returns, he explains his long absence, "Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife made me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses." "Why were they so grateful?" O'Reilly asks. The chauffeur replies, "I don't know. All I told him was that I was Bill O'Reilly's driver and I'd just killed the pig."
Vote: has 68.66 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, beer, food, military
The United States Army will be making a new movie... They'll be shooting in Iraq!
Vote: has 67.31 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: military
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander." Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?" "Yes, sir," answered the Sarge. A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful." So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, military, office
One reason the Services have trouble operating jointly is that they don’t speak the same language. For example, if you told Navy personnel to “secure a building,” they would turn off the lights and lock the doors. Army personnel would occupy the building so no one could enter. Marines would assault the building, capture it, and defend it with suppressive fire and close combat. The Air Force, on the other hand, would take out a three-year lease with an option to buy.
Vote: has 55.87 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: air force, death, military, money, navy