Joke #5616

It was at an amusement park on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 2 kids. "Who’s enjoying the most?" I asked cheerfully. "I am" said one. "I am" said the second. "No," the father said "their mother is!"

4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.

A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Nacho cheese!;)

A mother found out she was pregnant and told the good news to anyone who would listen. One day when mother and son were shopping, a woman asked the little boy if he was excited about the new baby. ‘Yes!’ the four-year-old said. ‘And I know what we are going to name it, too. If it's a girl we're going to call her Mary, and if it's another boy we're going to call it quits!'

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands: "Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy. She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Joshua. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

A mother noticed her little dauther praying. "Please, God," the little girl kept saying. "Bless my father and my mother and make Melaka the capital city of Malaysia." "Why did you make such as strange request?" the mother asked. "Beacause that's what I wrote in my Geography test this morning!"

Why do ghetto people always name their kids things they cant afford like Diamond, Mercedes, Car Insurance?

Father and his 13 year old son walk into the pharmacy. The son sees the boxes of condoms and asks: "What are these dad?" And the father answers truthfully: "These, my boy, are called condoms. Men use them to have safe sex." "Oh.. i see! the boy answers. They shown them to us at school, in the sex education class." Then the boy looks at a packet with 3 condoms in it and asks: "Why does this one have only 3 in it dad?" "This, son is for high-school kids: One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday." Then the boy looks at another packet that has 6 inside. "What about this one? Why does it have 6 in?" "This is for college students: Two for Friday, two for Saturday and two for Sunday." Then the kid sees that packet with 12 inside and with great wonder asks: "And this one dad, with 12 inside?" His father sighs and explains to him: "These my boy, are for married people. One for January, one for February…"

Two little boys go into the grocery store. One is nine, one is four. The nine year old grabs a box of tampons from the shelf and carries it to the register for check-out. The cashier asks "Oh, these must be for your mom, huh?" The nine year old replies "Nope, not for my mom." Without thinking, the cashier responded "Well, they must be for your sister then?" The nine year old quipped, "Nope, not for my sister either." The cashier had now become curious "Oh. Not for your mom and not for your sister, who are they for?" The nine year old says "They’re for my four year old little brother." The cashier is surprised "Your four year old little brother?" The nine year old explains: "Well yeah, they say on TV if you wear one of these you can swim or ride a bike and my little brother can’t do either of them!"

What did the mama bear say to her cub? "Don't go out in your bear feet!"