The moon is just a football Chuck Norris kicked up when he was a kid.
Q: What's the difference between an NFL player and an elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
The saddest moment for a child is not when he learns Santa Claus isn't real. It's when he learns Chuck Norris is.
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child. The bed went itself out of fear.
When Chuck Norris was a kid he didn't play with Lincoln Logs, he built real houses.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat kids into a camp fire.
Q: What does Superman, Batman, and Ironman have in common? A: When they were kids they wanted to be Chuck Norris
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'