Joke #5717

A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
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has 71.33 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs. The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."
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has 77.59 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dentist, dirty, husband, old people, sex
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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has 82.80 % from 843 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty
Patient: "I’m in a hospital! Why am I in here?" Doctor: "You’ve had an accident involving a bus." Patient: "What happened?" Doctor: "Well, I’ve got some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Give me the bad news first." Doctor: "Your legs were injured so badly that we had to amputate both of them." Patient: "That’s terrible! What’s the good news?" Doctor: "There’s a guy in the next ward who made a very good offer on your slippers."
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, hospital
Q: What do you say to a man with five penises? A: Your jeans fit like a glove.
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Mommie, Mommie....did you know that nurses can come apart..?" "Well...no. What makes you say that..?" "Because the other night, I overheard Daddy say that he screwed the ass off of a nurse..!"
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has 83.88 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground." So the crocodile bit his legs off.
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has 64.52 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Dating a stripper is like eating a noisy bag of chips in church... everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
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has 75.70 % from 132 votes. More jokes about: church, dating, dirty
I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
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has 25.12 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty
An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking, “Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her.” The old lady is thinking, “Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties.”
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has 73.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, old people, romantic, sex
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Make choking noises...
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: dirty