A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
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Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? I'll give you the 'D' later.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?
A: They are both meat substitutes.
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Man gives blood too save his wifes life.
Few months later they are divorced.
Husband says too wife, "I want my blood back you B*TCH!"
Wife throws the tampon at him and says, "I will pay you back monthly you B*STARD."
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina.
So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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A man goes into a library and asks where he can find books on suicide.
‘First row on the left,’ replied the librarian.
The man replies, ‘But I’ve already looked in that section.
It’s empty.’
‘I’m not surprised,’ says the librarian.
‘They don’t often bring them back.'
Naughty boy draws a p*nis on a black board.
Lady teacher rubs it off.
Next day he draws a bigger one and writes:
"REMEMBER THE MORE YOU RUB THE BIGGER IT GETS!
Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face.
She told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today."
Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..."
With a secret smile mum asked, "Was it really small?"
Sally replied, "No... really salty!"
How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
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