Joke #8473

Want a taste of my hanging sausage?
Vote: has 27.61 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Vote: has 59.80 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology
A man is at the optometrist getting his eyes checked. "You need to stop masturbating so much," the optometrist says. "Why?" asks the man. "Is it going to make me go blind?" The optometrist looks around and says "no, but it's making the other patients very uncomfortable."
Vote: has 84.07 % from 77 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, doctor, masturbation, men
A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store. She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madam How may we help you today?" Very uncomfortably, but hoping that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little "accident!" she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"  He answers, "Madam, if you farted just looking at it, you're going to shit when I tell you the price."
Vote: has 85.10 % from 408 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: customer service, dirty, money
I can teach you how to handle a cucumber.
Vote: has 30.41 % from 32 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, food
How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Vote: has 79.33 % from 466 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up
Vote: has 79.22 % from 798 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, gay, sex
My colleague said to me, "I bet you can't see your dick when you look down in the shower." "No, just your daughter's head," I replied.
Vote: has 85.53 % from 289 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
A shepherd goes to a television programme. A man of the viewers stand up and asks him, "What was the best day of your life?" The shepherd answers, "Well...the best day of my life was when I lost my donkey in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, i took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it." A second man of the viewers asks him, "And the second best day of your life?" And the shepherd, "Well...the second one was when in lost a sheep in Cuccureddu's mountain, when I found it, I took it to the village's square and everyone fu**ed it." So, after that, a third man of the viewers stand up and asks, "And the worse day of your life?." "The worse day of my life was when I got lost in Cuccureddu's mountain..."
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
North America, few hundred years ago. An indian is sitting, smokes a pipe. Breathes in, breathes out. His son comes up to him: Daddy, I have a question Well, what is it? Why do we have such long names? Yankees, for example, have much shorter ones - John, Simon, Nicolas and similar. Our names come from nature. When your mother was born, there was a wonderful dew, so that is why she is called Fresh Dew. When your sister was born, there was a brilliant sunset. So that why she got the name Red Sunset. So, do you have any more questions, Fucking Bison?
Vote: has 43.46 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?" "Bread" "Yes" "Hamburger" "Ok" A five years girl answered "Light", "Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?" "Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".
Vote: has 81.84 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, food, kids, sex