Husband and wife decide to make a password for s*x, they decide on 'washing machine'.
Later in bed that night husband says, "Washing machine."
Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head."
Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine."
Husband replies, "To late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand."
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Girl Cop: "You have to right to remain silent. Anything you say or do will be used against you."
Guy: "Boobs!"
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Susan's mother: "What are you doing on the top of that tree?"
Susan: "Some boys are playing football their ball is fallen on the tree.
They asked me to bring it."
Susan's mother: "My dear , they only want to chech your pants."
Susan: "Don't worry mam, I hav'nt put on my pants!"
In funeral of my friend's wife, I went to condole him so I said: "Don't think she was your wife, she was for all".
Are you a shark?
Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
Can you help me achieve a coronal mass ejection?
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse.
Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation.
"I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
In the morning Little Johnny says to his father, "Daddy last night I had my first s*xual encounter."
His father looks at him proudly and says, "When are you planniing to do it again?"
"I don't know daddy ever since it happened my ass has been hurting like crazy."