Joke #5729

Husband and wife decide to make a password for s*x, they decide on 'washing machine'. Later in bed that night husband says, "Washing machine." Wife replies, "Not tonight darling I have a sore head." Half an hour passes and she feels guilty so she says, "Washing machine." Husband replies, "To late it was only a small load so I decided to do it by hand."
Vote: has 83.13 % from 366 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard". Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen". The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick". Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats". On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using. Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Fuck" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey. Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey!
Vote: has 82.30 % from 4724 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, dirty, love, sex, Thanksgiving
Two guys are in a bar. "Hey, I've got an idea -- let's play 'Twenty Questions!'" "'Twenty Questions?' How do you play?" "You ask me questions and try to guess what I'm thinking of." "Okay. But you have to write down what you're thinking of so I know you're not cheating." The man agrees, and writes down 'moosecock' on a small piece of paper. "Okay, I got a question. Does it taste good?" "Uhh...I guess so." "Is it moosecock?"
Vote: has 67.46 % from 135 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, dirty
I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
Vote: has 62.93 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, technology
Why do people say 'Grow some balls?' Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.
Vote: has 67.29 % from 93 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Q: Why don't witches wear underwear? A: For a better grip on there broomstick!
Vote: has 61.89 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
What is difference between woman and condom? None :-) Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
Vote: has 64.21 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
I never drink water… fish f**k in it.
Vote: has 61.38 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Babe when I die I want you to cremate me, pour my ashes into a bowl of chili, and eat me just so I can tear that ass up one more time!
Vote: has 59.17 % from 76 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, dirty
Now there's a rack I'd like to be stretched out on.
Vote: has 21.52 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty
Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face. She told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today." Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..." With a secret smile mum asked, "Was it really small?" Sally replied, "No... really salty!"
Vote: has 84.48 % from 269 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty