Joke #5735

Man comes home to find his 17 yr old daughter with a d*ldo up her. "What are you doing," he shouts. "Well you won't let me have a boyfriend so this is my substitute," she explains. The next night the daughter comes home to find her dad with a d*ldo up his arse drinking a can of beer, "What are you doing," she shouts. He replays, "Having a beer with your boyfriend."

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette are riding in an elevator, when they see a small puddle in the corner. The brunette looks at it. "That's definitely cum," she says. The redhead touches it. "That's definitely cum," she says. The blonde takes a little taste. "That's definitely cum, but nobody in our building."

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.

A man walks into a sperm Bank. He approaches a man who has just walked out of a donating cubicle. He decides to start a conversation with him. He approaches the man and says "So then, do you come here often?" The man replies "Only when the internets off" and walks off.

Why do women fart after they take a piss? Because they can't shake it, so they blow dry it.

Q: What do you call nuts on a wall? A: Wallnuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chest? A: Chest nuts Q: What do you call nuts on your chin? A: A penis in your mouth

Getting married is like buying a dishwasher. You'll never have to do it by hand again.

Two blokes sitting in a bar, 1 says, "After 10 years of marriage, s*x is down to three times a year." The other replies, "Same here pal, as a matter of fact if my wife didn't sleep with her mouth open I'd have none at all."

My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.

What type of pussy does a priest get? Nun.

A mother without any pant was playing with her son. The boy pointing to her mother's pussy asked: "Mammy, what is that dark wooly between your feet? Mother: "My sweet that is a brush." Son: "Where is it's bundle?" Mother: "In your daddy's pant."