Chuck Norris made Dirty Harry's day.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Chuck Norris never gets dirty. The dirt is too afraid to even touch him or his clothes.
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
Chuck Norris doesn't celebrate Xmas, Xmas celebrates Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.