Joke #5741

A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks "If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ..." He replies "If you were any sort of lady, the hat would lift itself!"
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Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”
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I'll have you saying, "My compliments to the chef" in no time!
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A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. He wheezed for a minute, then ordered a chocolate sundae. “Crushed nuts?” asked the server. “No,” he answered. “Bad knees.”
Vote: has 72.95 % from 101 votes. Send joke:
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Your momma's like a shotgun 2 cocks and shes ready to blow.
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More jokes about: dirty, insulting, sex, Yo mama
Q: How do you keep black youth off the streets? A: Put a KFC on the sidewalk
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More jokes about: black people, dirty, food
Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.
Vote: has 81.99 % from 161 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, life, sex, work
If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, men
Just heard someone bragging about his one night stand. Whatever mate, I've got two night stands. Either side of my bed.
Vote: has 65.57 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, single
In an African city, there was a club that all its members had long dicks. On the other day, an European guy went to register his name in that club. When he knocked the doorkeeper asked the guy's penis length the guy said: "Mine is 10 inches long" The caretaker appeared at the door and begun laughing: "Here isn't a suitable place for you." The porter said, "Look at me I 've turned three time my dick around my waist so I'm only a caretaker and you by a baby dick."
Vote: has 76.06 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
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Are you a shark? Cause I've got some swimmers for you to swallow.
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More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex