Joke #5930

Why did the semen cross the road? Because I wore the wrong sock today.
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A father has three daughters that are all getting married on the same day. He asks his oldest daughter, ''Who do you wish to marry? She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.'' He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.'' He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same thing: ''Who do you wish to marry?'' She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
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Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love? A: "Honey, I'm home."
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A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."
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Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common? A: They are both meat substitutes.
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Yo mama so fat you cant tell if she got a penis or a vagina.
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I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date. I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
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The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door." So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?" "Blind man!" The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in. The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t*ts. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
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Q. Why doesn't Santa have any children? A. Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down the chimney.
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What is the geographical definition of s*x? Ans: It is an action done by the polland in the holland between the thailand with the little help of greece.
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Hey guys. Bet your female friend that she can't use both of her elbows to touch her belly button. Thank me later.
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