Chuck Norris doesn't cheat death, he beats it fair and square.
Chuck Norris once joined the Army. That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
Even after muting "Walker, Texas Ranger", you can still hear Chuck Norris's victims screaming after getting roundhouse kicked.
Chuck Norris doesn't cry. His eyes sweat.
Chuck Norris can empty a swimming pool with a fork... while it's raining.
Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Chuck Norris can lift up a chair with one hand... While he's sitting on it...
Chuck Norris can piss into Gale force winds.
A company once tried to make Chuck Norris toilet paper, but they soon realized it wouldn't work because Chuck Norris won't take shit from anyone.
Chuck Norris wears sunglasses not to protect his eyes from the sun, but to protect the sun from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris went sky diving 50 times. He used a parachute twice.