A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks.
He untied her and they had sex.
Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors?
A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
Vote:
Hitler: I asked for a glass of juice, not gas the Jews!
Vote:
Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
Vote:
One man enters in an ambulant and says to the doctor:
- Help me, please. I have a knife in my back.
The doctor, looking his watch says:
- Now is 2:20 PM, and I work till 2, so as you can imagine I've finished for today, and I can’t help you.
Be so kind and come tomorrow morning, at 8.
- But tomorrow morning I will be dead. You must help me now.
The doctor, angrily says:
- I explained to you gently that I've finished my shift for today, and that I can't do nothing for you.
You must pass here tomorrow.
- But, until tomorrow I will lose all my blood, and I will be dead.
Don’t you see that I have a knife in the back.
The doctor, already very angry and irritate extracts the knife from the back, and put it in the patients’ eye.
- Now you can go to ophthalmologist, he works till 3 PM.
Vote:
Q: What is the point of Jewish football?
A: To get the quarter back
Vote:
Woman patient: "Doctor I was suffering so much that I wanted to die."
Doctor: "You did the right thing to call me."
Vote:
There were four people on a plane.
One of them, the Pilot.
The other was the president of the United States –Obama, The oldest man in the world, and a little boy.
The plane was about to crash and the only option for survival was to jump!
But there were only three parachutes.
The Pilot took a parachute and said, "I'm the pilot, so I should get a parachute."
And he jumped off.
Then Obama grabs a and jumps saying, "Since I'm the president, I get one too!"
And he jumps.
The little boy then grabs a parachute and hands it to the old man.
The man declines, saying, "No, boy, take it. I'm too old anyway."
The boy answers, "What? No! Obama took my back-pack!"
Vote:
Two boiled eggs in a pan, one says "Hot in here in it", other says "You think it's hot in here, wait till you get outside they smash your head in."
Vote:
Q: Why do German shower heads have 11 holes?
A: Jews have 10 fingers.
Vote:
What's pink and spits?
A baby in a frying pan.
Vote: