A guy was walking to a bar and on his way he found a girl tied up to the railroad tracks.
He untied her and they had sex.
Guy gets to the bar, friends ask why he's so late, tells them about the girl he found and all the different positions they fucked in.
Friends give him props and ask if he got head, guy replies "I couldn't find it."
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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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Q: What do you call a flying Jew?
A: Ashes.
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Q: What's faster than the speed of light?
A: A jew passing Germany.
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Heres what you do:
1. Dinner
2. Kiss
3. Movie
4. Sex
5. Bring her back home
6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
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How can you help a starving cannibal?
Give him a helping hand.
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Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
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