What rule could stop HIV in Africa?
Sex after dinner only.
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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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I just ended a long-term relationship today.
I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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A pretty lady is standing on the side of a bridge, looking over it and thinking about jumping off.
A homeless alcoholic man comes up to her as he was walking nearby.
The lady notices the man coming and says: "Go away! There's nothing you can say to me to change my mind, you cannot help me."
"Well, if you're going to kill yourself anyway, why don't we have sex? At least I'll enjoy it" replies the man.
"No way, you're disgusting, go away."
The homeless man turns and starts walking away.
The lady thinks: "Is that all you were going to say to me? Nothing more? Won't you try to convince me that life is worth living that I should not jump off? Where are you going?"
The homeless man thinks: "I have to make it down to the bottom. If I hurry, you'll still be warm."
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Q: What's a terrorists favorite American football team?
A: The New York Jets.
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Q: What do you call the ashes of a white person in a jar?
A: A jar of mayonnaise.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
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What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?
A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.
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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
As many as it takes to climb on top of them in order to reach the socket.
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Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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