What rule could stop HIV in Africa?
Sex after dinner only.
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On the day of my big job interview I woke up late.
Frantically I threw on a suit.
"OH NO!" I thought. "MY TIE! My Dad was out of town and wasn't there to help me, and for the life of me, I did not know how to tie a tie!"
I grabbed a tie and ran out the door.
"Excuse me sir," I said to the crossing guard, "I have an important job interview, can you please help me make this tie?!"
"Sure," said the guard, "just lie down on this bench."
Well if someone was going to help me I wasn't going to ask any questions.
After he finished and the tie looked good I just had to ask why I had to lie down.
"Well in my previous job I learned how to tie ties on other people when they were lying down." he replied.
"What was your previous job?" I asked incredulously.
"I ran a morgue." was the reply.
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Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.
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A guy wasn’t feeling well and went to the doctor for a check up.
He did the tests and waited.
After a while, the doctor came in with the results.
"Unfortunately, I have very bad news! You’re seriously ill! You have really not much time to live.."
"Doctor..! How much time do I have..?"
"Ten..."
"Ten what? Months? Years? What?!"
"Nine...Eight...Seven..."
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Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day.
It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
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Q: What happened to Jesus when he said "Catch me outside, how bout dat"?
A: He got crucified
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
- Because black people have no rights..
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Black Jokes are not funny I have a black guy in my family way up in my family tree.
He's been hanging there for quite a while.
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Only nowadays there appeared a possibility to realize yourselfe: sell your liver, kidneis, skeleton...
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Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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