Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell.
He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building.
Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?"
The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"
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I asked my wife why did she marry me.
Wife: "Because you are funny."
Me: "I thought it was beacause I was good in bed?"
Wife: "You see? You're hilarious."
A man comes home from a hard day of work only to find his wife laying infront of the fire place with her legs wide open.
He asked, "Honey what are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm heating up your dinner."
Q: What goes in hard and pink, but comes out soft and mushy?
A: Bubblegum and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Why do men like having sex with the lights on?
It makes it easier to put a name to the face.
Roses are red
lemons are sour.
Open your legs
and give me an hour.
A newly-wed couple didn’t know the difference between putty and Vaseline.
A week after the marriage all their windows fell out.
Which was the least of their worries.
In an elementary school, the teacher gives school work to the class.
Everybody writes except little John.
The teacher asks him: John, why aren’t you writing?
I’m exhausted because of sex.
That should not be a problem, write with your left hand.
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"