Superman is flying around the city, horny as hell.
He suddenly sees Wonder Woman spread eagle, naked on top of the building.
Superman thinks, "This is my chance!" He swoops down, faster than a speeding bullet bangs her and is gone in the blink of an eye.
Wonder Woman sits up and says,"What the hell was that!?"
The Invisible Man rolls off her and says, "I have no idea but it hurt like hell!"
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A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money.
The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat.
So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself?
Yes.
Me too?
Of course.
And how much do you think I would cost?
500 francs.
What?! Only 500 francs?!
Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
Why do women need guys?
Vibrators don’t usually pay for drinks.
How can you make your wife scream for an hour after sex?
Wipe your dick on the curtains.
The four words most hated by men during sex?
‘Is it in yet?’
Q: What' is Hillary Clinton favorite movies?
A: Kill BILL 1 and 2.
A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex.
Can you explain it to me first?"
"Okay, sweetheart.
Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'.
So what we do is put the prisoner in the prison."
And they made love for the first time and the husband was smiling with satisfaction.
Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."
Turning on his side, he smiles and says, "Then we will have to re-imprison him."
After the second time, the bride says, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"
The husband rises to the occasion and they made love again.
The bride again says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again," to which the husband yelled, "Hey, it's not a life sentence!!!"
A man says to his wife, "I fancy kinky sex, how about I blow my load in your ear?"
The wife hastily replies, "No, I might go deaf!"
To which the man replies, "I've been shooting my love wads in your mouth for the last 20 years and you're still fucking talking aren't you?"
Two old soldiers, Fred and Harry, are sitting in their club.
Harry turns to Fred and says, ‘When was the last time you made love to a woman?’
Fred thinks for a moment then says, ‘1947.’
‘Good heavens,’ says Harry.
‘That’s a very long time ago.’
‘Not reall
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?"
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man’s balls.
To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the missing testicle with a pickled onion.
Several weeks later, the patient returned for a checkup. “How’s your sex life?” asked the doctor.
“Pretty good,” the man said, to the doctor’s obvious relief.
But then the patient added, “I’ve had some strange side effects that are causing serious problems.”
“What’s that?” the doctor asked anxiously.
“Well, every time I urinate, my eyes water.”
“Hmm,” said the doctor, thoughtfully.
“That’s not all,” continued the patient. “When my wife does me orally, she gets heartburn.”
“Hmm,” said the doctor, as his face reddened.
“It gets worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand….I get an erection!”