Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife...
A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
Did you hear about the idiot who put ice in his condom?
He wanted to keep the swelling down.
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear and she can’t find her pencil.
My penis was in the Guiness Book of Records... until the librarian kicked me out.
A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money.
The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat.
So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself?
Yes.
Me too?
Of course.
And how much do you think I would cost?
500 francs.
What?! Only 500 francs?!
Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome.
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome.
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
Once upon a time there was a women that was about to have triplets.
In her stomach the babies were talking to each other.
The first baby says "I want to be a plumber, because there is so much water in here".
The second baby says "I want to be an electrician because it is so dark in here".
And the last baby says "I want to be a hunter, because if that damn snake comes back in here i'm going to cut it off".
Are you a mum?
I am not a dad!
Maybe you could help me with that!
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
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