Joke #3126

Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Vote: has 78.00 % from 854 votes. Send joke:

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- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"? - "No, I had sex in high school."
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Two men were talking: First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?" Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Vote: has 73.40 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

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It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex: - You can GET chocolate. - Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft. - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. - You can have chocolate in in public. - If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind. - The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. - Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant. - You can have chocolate at any time of the month. - You are never too young or too old for chocolate. - Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.
Vote: has 72.41 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

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Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
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A High School English Teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. She tells the class that there would be no excuse for not showing up, except for a serious injury or illness, or a death in the student's immediate family. One smart-ass jock in the back of the room asks, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Not an excuse. You can use your other hand to write with."
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A punk rocker gets on the bus with green, yellow, purple and orange hair. An old guy sitting on the bus stares at him, and the punk says, "What's the matter, old man, didn't you ever do anything wild in your life?" And the old man says, "Yeah, one time I fucked a parrot. I thought maybe you were my kid."
Vote: has 73.54 % from 99 votes. Send joke:

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‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience. Between five it’s fantastic!’ Woody Allen
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Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
Vote: has 50.89 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

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