Joke #3126

Q. Difference between a man buying a lottery ticket and a man fighting with his wife... A. A man has a chance at winning at the lottery.
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has 75.27 % from 287 votes. More jokes about: sex

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Robinson came home in great excitement and said to his wife, “You’ll never believe it, dear, but I’ve discovered an entirely new position for lovemaking.” “Really,” said Mrs. Robinson, interested at once. “What is it?” “Back to back.” “But that’s crazy. We can’t do anything back to back.” “Yes we can. I’ve persuaded another couple to help out.”
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has 67.85 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love, sex, wife
Men, don’t buy expensive ‘ribbed’ condoms; buy an ordinary one and slip in a handful of frozen peas.
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: sex
A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her. She screams, "Nein!, Nein" So two guys walk away.
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has 52.10 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, ethnic, sex, stupid
Masturbation is like procrastination, it’s all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself!
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has 74.96 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: sex
A man and a woman meet at bar one day and are getting along really well. They decide to go back to the woman's house where they engage in passionate love making. The woman suddenly cocks her ear and says, "Quick my husband just got home, go hide in the bathroom!" So the man runs into the bathroom. Her husband comes up into the bedroom and looks at her. "Why are you naked?" he asks. "Well, I heard you pull up outside, so I thought I would come up here and get ready for you." "Okay" the man replies "I'll go get ready." He goes into the bathroom before his wife can stop him and sees a naked man standing there clapping his hands. "Who the f**k are you?" the man asks. "I am from the exterminator company, your wife called me in to get rid of the moths you are having problems with." The husband exclaims, "But you are naked!" The man then looks down and jumps back in surprise. "Those little bastards!"
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has 80.52 % from 545 votes. More jokes about: bar, love, sex, women
One day God came down and said to three guys that the less you cheat on your wives the better the cars you'll get in heaven. So the first guy went to heaven after cheating on his wife 67 times and he got a Mercedes. The second guy went to heaven and had cheated on his wife 2 times and he got a Ferrari, then the third guy went to heaven and said that he had never cheated on his wife and he got a Bentley. Then one day the third guy was all sad and depressed and the first and second guys asked him what was wrong and the third guy said, "I saw my wife the other day" and the first guy said "yeah, so" and the third guy said " she was riding a skateboard."
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has 74.74 % from 490 votes. More jokes about: sex
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
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has 70.33 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
There were two security guards who worked on opposite shifts, but looked after the same building. Over a period of a year, the night shift security guard noticed that his opposite was putting on weight. So one evening at shift change, the night shift security guard says to the day shift security guard "Hey buddy, you aint half gettin fat". To which the day shift guard replies "Yeah, that's because every time I shag your wife she gives me a chocolate biscuit".
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has 59.21 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, fat, sex, wife, work
What’s a man’s ultimate embarrassment? Walking into a wall with an erection and hurting his nose.
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has 69.98 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: sex
Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome
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has 78.72 % from 503 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex