What is something nine out of ten people enjoy?
Gang rape.
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A married woman walks up to Santa Claus and tells him that all she wants for Christmas is for her husband to be interested in s*x.
Santa then proceeds to give her a bottle of pills.
He tells her to give them a try and then let him know how it's working.
So she takes the pills home and puts one pill in her husband's Christmas dinner.
That night, they make love for one hour.
The next day, she's running around thrilled and happy.
"Oh, my God. I can't believe how well that worked," she thinks to herself.
That night she puts two pills in his food and that night they make love for two hours.
The next day, she's even more thrilled, so she dumps all the pills in his food.
Two weeks go by without any word from this woman, so Santa decides to give her a call.
A little boy answers the phone.
Santa says, "Little boy, is your mother home?"
"No, she's...who's this?" the little boy asks.
"I'm a friend of your mother's and I gave her some pills to help her out a couple of weeks ago. Maybe you know how it's going?"
"That was you?!" the little boy says.
"Let me tell you. Mom's dead, sister's pregnant, my ass hurts and Dad's in the attic going, 'Here kitty, kitty, kitty. "
One night, a horny old geezer decides to get himself a hooker.
Since the man doesn't have much money, he looks for the cheapest whore in the nearest Red Light District.
A short while later, he finds what he's looking for and spends $10 for oral sex and intercourse.
The next morning, the old geezer wakes up and discovers he has crabs.
So, he gets dressed and heads down to where he had been the night before.
He notices the same hooker on the street corner, so he marches over to her and says, "Hey, lady, you gave me crabs!"
The hooker replies, "Hey, old man, what did you expect for $10? Lobster?"
Did you hear about the theft at the Viagra factory?
The police are looking for some hardened criminals!
Q: How big are the pastro's beds?
A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
I'd have a comeback for that, but all my come's backed up in your throat.
Kock, Knock
Who is there?
Suck, suck.
Suck, suck who?
After a long pause with a low voice:
My dick; dear!
Vote:
What did the Left Nut say to the right nut?
Don't talk to the guy in the middle he's a d*ck!...
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
I lost my virginity.
Can I have yours?