Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest.
Cecil ask, "What you doing?""
Rupert said, "I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest.
Cecil said, "Don't be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of my arse..."
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Had a fight with an erection this morning.
I beat it single handedly.
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y - because you gotta leave your bags outside!
Q: Why shouldn't girls wear skirts in winter?
A: Because their lips will get chapped!
A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for s*x."
His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"
A young fellow went to a Jewish Doctor and told the doctor he was worried because he could not get an erection.
Whereupon the doctor told him to eat Jewish Rye Bread.
So on his way home, the young man stopped a Jewish Bakery and asked for 25 Loaves of Rye Bread.
The Baker said "25 Loaves? It will get hard before you get rid of it."
Whereupon the patient in excitement said "Give me 50 loaves."
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Testicules.
Testicules who?
Pillow for penis .
Vote:
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity?
A: The crayons are still sticky.
Vote:
What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.
Girl: I get horny everytime I hear something sexual, it's weird I know, but anyway, what's your name?
Me: Sir BJ Anal The 69th.
Why Chocolate Is Better Than Sex:
- You can GET chocolate.
- Chocolate satisfies even when it's gone soft.
- You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
- You can have chocolate in in public.
- If you bite the nuts, the chocolate won't mind.
- The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
- You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
- No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate.
- Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
- You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
- You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
- Size doesn't matter - though more is still better.