Two gays Rupert and Cecil are lying in bed together Rupert starts rubbing vaseline on his chest.
Cecil ask, "What you doing?""
Rupert said, "I read that vaseline stimulates hair growth and I want a hairy chest.
Cecil said, "Don't be fucking stupid, if that was true I would have a ponytail sticking out of my arse..."
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A blonde pick ups her dress from the dry cleaners, when she leaves the Cashier says,
"Come again!"
Bonde said, "Nah..It was ketchup this time."
Knock, Knock
Who is there?
A long erected penis with an eye on my head and some wools in my feet.
What do you want?
Is there any body to suck me? I want to weep.
Vote:
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
Vote:
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!"
"What medicine?"
"To get another look...!"
A guy went to a whore house and asked the lady if she had a woman that could handle 16 inches.
"Hmm," said the madam. "I'm not sure. Try the first door on the right."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and immediately heard screams.
"It's too big! Take it out!" So he went to the madam.
"No, really. I need someone who can handle 16 inches."
"Hmm," said the madam. "Try the last door."
So the guy went inside, stuck it in, and had the time of his life, surprised that there was no scream at all.
In fact, he heard no sounds at all.
Puzzled, he finished up and pulled out.
"Talk to me, baby."
"Moo."
What is difference between woman and condom?
None :-)
Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
A dick has a sad life.
His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
A 7-year-old boy and a 40-year old man are walking together in a dark forest.
The young boy says, "I'm afraid..." The 40-year-old man replies," You're afraid?!
I have to walk out of here alone!"