A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help.
Helium doesn't react.
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Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
How I see math word problems:
If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof?
Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.
Teacher: "Little Johnny, give me a sentence using the word, 'geometry.'"
Little Johnny: "A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, 'Gee, I'm a tree.'"
Vote:
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
Vote:
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
Vote:
I ordered a foot-long sandwich from a take-out restaurant and asked the clerk to cut it into fourths.
"I'm sorry, I can't," she said. "I already cut it in half."
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
An engineer and a physicist are in a hot-air balloon.
After a few hours they lose track of where they are and descend to get directions.
They yell to a jogger, "Hey, can you tell us where we're at?"
After a few moments the jogger responds, "You're in a hot-air balloon."
The engineer says, "You must be a mathematician."
The jogger, shocked, responds, "yeah, how did you know I was a mathematician?"
"Because, it took you far too long to come up with your answer, it was 100% correct, and it was completely useless."