A helium molecule walks in afterwards. The bellhop asks if he needs any help.
Helium doesn't react.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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The bartender asks: "Would all three of you like some beer?"
The first one replies, "I don't know."
The second one replies, "I don't know either."
The third replies, "Yes."
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
My math teacher called me average...
How mean!
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
Little Johnny was doing his math homework.
He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?"
The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
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Count from one to ten.
That's how long it would take Chuck Norris to kill you... Forty seven times.
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