Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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There is no logical foundation of mathematics, and Gödel has proved it!
Two random variables were talking in a bar.
They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself?
A: Because nobody understood him.
Dear Maths,
Please grow up now and solve you problems yourself.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt!
Q: What's a polygon?
A: A dead parrot.
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."
"Can you tell me what comes after three?"
"Four," answers little Johnny.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven," answers little Johnny.
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?"
"A jack," answers little Johnny.
Vote:
DEPT OF STATISTICS:
All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve.
DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY:
Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in.
The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind.
DEPT OF HISTORY:
All students get the same grade they got last year.
DEPT OF RELIGION:
Grade is determined by God.
DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY:
What is a grade?
LAW SCHOOL:
Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A.
DEPT OF MATHEMATICS:
Grades are variable.
DEPT OF LOGIC:
If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A.
DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE:
Random number generator determines grade.
MUSIC DEPARTMENT:
Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively).
DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION:
Everybody gets an A.
2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.
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