Joke #5471

Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.

A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment. They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed. The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman. The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off. The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway. The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?". To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.

I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.

Chuck Norris is the only person to know pi, because when he puts it into the calculator, the calculator doesn't dare give him only part of it.

A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"

Johnny, if you had 5$ and you asked your father for 3$ more, how many dollars would you have? I would have five dollars... You don't know your arithmetic, Johnny... You don't know my father, Mrs. Mutch...

Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.

Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children? A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."

Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.