Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space.
"How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk.
"My head's spinning," the engineer confesses.
"How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?"
"Well, it's not even difficult.
All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
A teacher asked a student to write 55.
Student asked: How?
Teacher: Write 5 and beside it another 5!
The student wrote 5 and stopped.
Teacher: What are you waiting for?
Student: I don't know which side to write the other 5!
Q: Do you already know the latest stats joke?
A: Probably...
Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911?
A: Because she couldn't find the 11
Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Yo mammas so fat they had to make a new number.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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Three statisticians are out hunting.
Suddenly, a deer appears 50 yards away.
The first statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the left.
The second statistician shoots and hits the tree 5 feet to the right.
The third statistician starts jumping up and down, yelling "We got him! We got him!"