Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
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A blonde desserts her home town out of shame, and colors her hair brown.
She drives past a farm and sees all the sheep.
She goes up to the farmer and ask, "If I guess how many sheep you have can I have one?"
The farmer nodded. She continued. "159" The farmer is surprised. "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess" She grabs one and gets in her car.
The farmer comes up and says, "If I can guess your real hair color can I get my dog back?"
Old mathematicians never die - they just lose some of their functions.
Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work.
The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
A logician's wife is having a baby. The doctor immediately hands the newborn to the dad.
His wife asks impatiently: "So, is it a boy or a girl" ?
The logician replies: "yes".
Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good.
Pupil: Good? That's perfect!
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my math class: it would seem so much longer.
Teacher: "Are you good at math?"
Pupil: "Yes and no."
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Pupil: "Yes, I'm no good at math!"
Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"