Joke #6049

Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Vote: has 82.65 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
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Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Vote: has 24.11 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
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Q:Why don't blondes get coffee breaks? A:It takes too long to retrain them.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
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Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
Vote: has 71.42 % from 251 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
A blonde walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" She replies, "Sorry, this is a library." The blonde whispers, "Oh, sorry. May I have a burger and fries?"
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
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When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
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A redheaded man walks into a bar and sits next to another redheaded man. He orders a Guinness, and the 2nd redheaded man turns to him. "I'm guessing from that accent you're from Dublin?" he asks, in an Irish brogue. "Of course!" the 1st guy exclaims, "here, bartender, get this guy a Guinness, too." Their exchange continues: 1st: "Lemme ask you, what street did you grow up on?" 2nd: "St. Catherine Street. And you?" 1st: "St. Catherine Street, same as you!" 2nd: "Here, bartender, get this guy a Jameson! What school did you go to?" 1st: "St. Jospeh's Boy's Academy." 2nd: "Son of a bitch, I went to St. Joe's too! Bartender, get this guy a Jameson!" This continues, and as they find they had the same teachers and knew the same neighborhood kids, they proceed to get louder and drunker until a guy at the other end of the bar asks the bartender, "What's up with those two?" The bartender shrugs and says, "It's the O'Shaughnessy twins, they're drunk again."
Vote: has 73.48 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
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Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid? Because they can't fit eight cups of water in the little packet.
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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Once visiting Arizona, Chuck Norris spat on the ground. The place is now known as the meteor crater.
Vote: has 71.76 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
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Teacher:Maria please point to America on the map. Maria:This is it. Teacher:Well done. Now class, who found America? Class:Maria did.
Vote: has 81.14 % from 350 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: geography, school, teacher