Joke #6049

Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?  A: She liked kids...
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama so fat that she is called America.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, geography, Yo mama
These two guys had just gotten divorces and they swore they would never have anything to do with women again. They were best friends and they decided to move up to Alaska as far north as they could go and never look at a woman again. They got up there and went into a trader’s store and told him, "Give us enough supplies to last two men for one year." The trader got the gear together and on top of each one’s supplies he laid a board with a hole in it with fur around the hole. The guys said "What’s that board for?" The trader said, "Well, where you’re going there are no women and you might need this." They said "No way! We’ve sworn off women for life!" The trader said, "Well. take the boards with you, and if you don’t use them. I’ll refund your money next year." "Okay," they said and left. Next year this guy came into the trader’s store and said "Give me enough supplies to last one man for one year." The trader said, "Weren’t you in here last year with a partner?" "Yeah" said the guy. "Where is he?" asked the trader. "I shot him" said the guy. "Why?" "I caught him in bed with my board."
Vote: has 77.56 % from 199 votes. Send joke:

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Hardest job in the world: police sketch artist in China.
Vote: has 72.84 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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Yo moma so fat she jumped off the Grand Canon and got stuck.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, geography, insulting, Yo mama
Three fans were bemoaning the sorry state of their football team. "I blame the general manager," said the first fan. "If he signed better players, we'd be a great team." "I blame the players," said the 
second fan. "If they made more of 
an effort, we'd score some points." "I blame my parents," said the third. "If I'd been born in Seattle, 
I'd be supporting a decent team."
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris drives in reverse and still drives better than you...
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back!
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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