Joke #6049

Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Vote: has 80.45 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine? A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Vote: has 22.04 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde walked up to a man and said, "Give me your wallet." The man said, "Okay, but give me the gun." The blonde gave him the gun and the man gave his wallet. The man used the gun to steal his wallet back. The blonde said, "You're an idiot...there's no bullets in the gun." The man replied, "You're the idiot...here's no money in the wallet."
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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A redhead, a brunette and a blonde robbed a supermarket. While the robbery was in progress, a police officer walked in the store and saw what was happening. He dashed toward them, but they were able to get away into the back of the store. There they found three sacks to hide in. When the police officer checked there, he examined each sack. He kicks the first bag, and the redhead says "meow" in a high voice. The cop determines that it must only be a cat in that bag, and he moves on to the next. When he kicks the second bag, the brunette says "woof" in a low voice. The officer determines that it must only be a dog in that bag, so he moves on to the last bag. He kicks the third bag, and the blonde shouts "potato" to the officer.
Vote: has 81.50 % from 255 votes. Send joke:

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What does a blonde do when her laptop computer freezes? She sticks it in the microwave.
Vote: has 63.82 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why do Republicans avoid living on the West Coast? A: They're scared to live that close to the edge of the Earth.
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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My friend's dad went to Hungary. I asked her, "Was your dad hungry in Hungary?"
Vote: has 56.05 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why are there no brunette jokes? A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
Vote: has 44.24 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?" "You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.
Vote: has 83.37 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

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A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods… “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." “From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor. “No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
Vote: has 85.41 % from 176 votes. Send joke:

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