Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
Q: How many blonde jokes are there?
A: One. The rest are all true stories.
An American family has grandparents who live in Russia.
Every month, the grandparents send a package of powder to the American family.
The package always says: "Just add water."https://unijokes.com/
Every time the family does this the powder turns into a delicious soup.
The soups are always different and the family is always excited to find out which new foreign flavor they get to try out.
One day, the family receives a package in the mail containing some gray powder.
Assuming that this is another soup, the family dumps it into a pot and adds some water.
However, unlike all the other soups, this one t astes grainy and disgusting.
The family still eats it though just to be polite.
A week later, a letter from the grandpa comes in the mail saying: "Grandma Taya has died and I have sent the ashes to you. She wants to be scattered in America as that is her favorite place."
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert.
A genie appears and gives each of them one wish.
The redhead says " I wish I could fly" and flys away.
The brunette says "I wish I was home" and teleports home.
The blonde steps up, sighs, and says " I wish my friends were back.
They were just five lakes, until Chuck Norris said they were Great!
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It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.