There was this guy who was married to a blonde, and each night he came home with a new blonde joke.
One night the wife got mad and decided to show him that she wasn't dumb.
She spent the whole next day learning all her states and capitals.
That night when he got home he told his joke.
She says, "I'm not so dumb. I know all of the states and capitals. Go ahead, quiz me."
He thought for a moment and asked, "What is the capital of Massachusetts?"
She quickly replied, "M"!
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The most beautiful blonde woman you've ever seen walks into the drugstore.
She walks to the pharmacy and asks if they sell Extra-Large condoms, the cashier says yes and points her down aisle 11.
About 30 minutes go by and the pharmacist notices that the blonde is still looking at the condoms.
He decides to see if she needs any help.
He says, "Did you find the extra large condoms?"
She responds, "Yes, now I'm just waiting for someone to buy some."
What is the difference between Bigfoot and an intelligent blonde?
"There have actually been sightings of Bigfoot."
Q: How are blondes like postage stamps?
A: You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers.
She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop."
The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone.
The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting.
I'm a woman.
Wow, just look at our cars!
There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt.
This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
"This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued,
"And look at this, here's another miracle.
My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break.
Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man,
The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.
The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No.
I think I'll just wait for the police..."
Q: There are 17 blonds standing outside a disco but why couldn't they get in?
A: The sign said "must be 18 to enter".
Why did the Blonde pee in the Grocery Store?
The sign said "Wet Floor."
Q: Why did the blond layout on the lawn chair in her bikini at midnight?
A: She wanted to get a dark tan.
Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold?
A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
