A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one What a HippoCrip.
What do you call a show full of lions? The mane event.
What is a frogs favorite time? Leap Year!
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" and the deer replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" The zebra replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. "Who is the king of the jungle?" he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, "Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer."
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
What's the fastest way to send a rabbit? Haremail.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer? A: Show us your calves!
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."