What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing! 
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It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed monster?
A: Hello, hello.
Chuck Norris was an only child.
Eventually.
Vote:
Chuck Norris never wet his bed as a child.
The bed went itself out of fear.
Vote:
A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what?
We learned how to make babies today."
The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
Q: Why did the blonde want to become a veterinarian?
A: She liked kids...
What kind of rocks do young geologists play with?
Marbles.
Q: In which room we cannot live?
A: Mushroom.
Mrs Laura a kindergarten teacher asked her class "what things we can eat?"
"Bread"
"Yes"
"Hamburger"
"Ok"
A five years girl answered "Light",
"Omg" shouted the teacher, "how can light be eaten?"
"Last night I heared mom whispering to dad 'turn the light off and put it in my mouth'".