What did the red light say to the green light?
Don't look I'm changing! 
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A father, as he was going home, he saw his daughter on the porch, kissing a guy goodnight.
Disturbed, he turned to the guy.
"In our home, young man, we turn of the light at 11 o'clock, sharp!"
"Oh, Thank you so much Sir! That's so convenient! Thanks!"
Son: "Daddy; why some of your hairs have turned white?"
Father: "Every lie told by you makes one of my hairs white."
Son: "Oh now I understood why all grandfathers' hairs are white."
A father was advising his son: "If you want to have a big and strong dick in future you have to eat more walnuts."
Suddenly son's mother by an angry face shouted: "Why when you were child did'nt eat enough walnut yourself?"
Q: How was break dancing invented?
A: Little black kids stealing hub caps off of moving cars.
A couple placed an ad: "Have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter."
Responses:
American: "Keep trying!"
Briton: "Change Doctor!"
Aussie: "Follow a special diet."
Indian: "Practice yoga!"
Pinoy: "Let me try!"
Q: How do you make a tissue dance?
A: Put a little boogey in it!
What is black and white and red all over?
(A panda bear with a sunburn!)
Q: What animal has the most kids.
A: A sperm whale.
Billy, learned at school that everybody has secrets.
So, he decided to take advantage of it.
One day, as he came home from school, he went in front of his mother and told her: "Mommy, mommy! I know everything!"
His mom, obviously scared to death: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your father about it, okay?"
"Okay mommy!" says Billy and leaves the room with a big smile on his face.
When his dad came from work, he did the same to him as well: "Daddy, daddy! I found out everything!"
Numb, his father puts his hand on his pocket: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your mother, okay?"
"Okay!" says Billy with a bigger smile on his face.
The next morning, on his way to school, he sees the Postman.
He thought he could try it to him too: "Mr. Focker, I know everything!"
The Postman, the minute he heard it, fell on his knees and wide opened his arms: "Then, come... Come closer... My son!"
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat".
The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as.
"I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.